#like ...there was always that what if feeling but id always put it aside bc yeah better not get hurt again

[enhatarot]

“how are the members doing right now?” reading!!

since they finished promoting and are also doing concerts and a lot of other stuff nonestop, i was wondering how they’re dealing with all of that sooo…lets see it

sh: 10 of swords on top + 6 of cups + ace of pentacles + the hermit + 4 of pentacles + temperance + 7 of swords + knight of wands and 6 of wands (fell off my hand lol) at the end + justice on the bottom of the deck.

hes feeling exhausted guys. very. but 😔☝🏻he knows that the work that he and the rest of them have been putting in was worth it. in this reading, the feeling that i get is that hes remebering times where their success was just not at this level you know? kinda nostalgic. could be also thinking about the fans and the rest of the group, bc of them, he was given such opportunities. hes also feeling more reserved, like “i need some time for myself to balance my thoughts, that was a lot to handle” i think he feels like he needs time alone to figure things out. hes feeling a little lost? like with the seven of swords and knight of wands both reversed i feel like hes trying to slow down even when his life moves so fast, but even then, doesnt know where to go. maybe he has days where hes super motivated but other days where he feels soooo tired but cant stop working. (give him love pls) however!! 🙏🏻😛 hes thinking like “fuck this is exhausting but really works” because he has been experiencing real success and finally seeing justice after so much hard work.

hs: 7 of cups at the tops + 3 of cups + the magician + the star + king of wands reversed + queen of swords + 9 of cups+ knight of swords and the tower at the end + page of wands at the bottom of the deck.

hes basically the opposite of hoon lmao. he gains a lot of energy during concerts and interactions and thats when he feels the most confident. in his head, being able to be around fans and the rest of the group doing what he loves recharges him, like hes finally living everything he wished for. hes able to see such a positive and hopeful future for him right now (my love 😭🙏🏻) he’s thinking that hes finally conected with his purpose (maybe a little religious or just thankful for the universe) but 🧐 with the seven of cups on top he also feels kind of confused (?) like theres a lot of things happening at the same time and he doesn’t know where to act first. adding to that, hes also very rational. he sees the success and how its changing his life but feels like he needs to improve a lot, always pushing himself further “i need to be better/ i cant stop now or care about my own feelings too much, this is about future” type of mentality. anygays, bambi is full power now, and very motivated VERY.

j: 6 of wands at the top + 3 of swords, page of wands + knight of cups + 2 of cups + 4 of pentacles + the hierophant + knight of pentacles reversed and 7 of pentacles at the end + knight of swords at the bottom of the deck

my boy is going through it a little guys 😭 with the six of wands at the top he is noticing the stage in his career right now, like how they are succeeding and heading towards their biggest goals but he has some personal issues going on aside from that, which is draining him a little bit. with the three of swords and the other cups cards it feels a little….romantic ? id have to take another reading focused on that but still, hes heartbroken by something that happened in the past and he cant seem to shake it off. however, hes trying his best to move forward and complete his daily work with all the strength he has on him, also hoping that it will make him forget about his pain or cure it. probably very few people knows about what he’s going through because hes keeping it veeeeery silent and to himself. he is searching for a little reconnection with religion maybe or just trying to follow his heart and his mindset of “what is right and wrong” while giving his all to work. maybe that cycle of wanting things to change inside him mixed with the urge to always keep going gives him anxiety like “im trying my best but nothing is changing/ i dont see the results”

sn: queen of cups at the top + page of swords reversed + 6 of cups + seven of swords + page of cups + 4 of wands reversed + 8 of pentacles + 2 of oentacles and the high priestess at the end + knight of wands at the bottom of the deck

HES JUST LIKE ME FR U GUYS DONT GET IT 😔 but anyways. queen of cups at the top is verrrry sunoo. hes all about feelings, intuition and so empathetic, which is a good thing but it can also cause a lot of damage especially when you’re young. he filters everyone’s emotions and gets overwhelmed. hes at a stage where hes very critical about himself like how hes being portrait/ how people are looking at him, making him doubt himself or his abilities and personality sometimes and creating a sort of social anxiety. his thoughts are also a bit nostalgic, like he misses times where he was more open or more like himself. since hes feeling this way hes trying to ignore those feelings and act like everything is fine or dont matter “faking” a poker face almost as a coping mechanism for self protection. nonetheless, this baby is very innocent about how to deal with his feelings and doesnt know how to act or connect with people especially during social events. of course its not about the group but hes feeling a sense of “i dont know what to do to fit in/ im not feeling welcomed”. hes working hard to balance his feelings with the urge to keep working and contributing to the group, but a little bit more reserved these days .

jgw: knight of cups on top + justice + 2 of wands + 5 of pentacles reversed + 3 of swords + knight of swords reversed + the fool and the tower in the end + 6 of pentacles at the bottom of the deck

wonie is trying to cope with the feeling of needing attention and give attention to others. the main feeling here is that hes giving his all to fans and the members, especially emotional support and affection but i think he may feel left alone or abandoned by others even unintentionally. in a work scenario, hes feeling like theres a lot of pressure falling on him, and that theres too mcuh work for him to handle. hes searching for balance thinking like “if i give this to them then i might receive it back” but instead, he gets disappointed when that doesnt happen. (GIVE HIM LOVE NOW YALL) in that sense hes probably appearing distant or more unapproachable because he is in defense mode. maybe he said something he didn’t mean it or acted out unnecessarily and is overthinking things like “this needs to change, i need to talk about it and change this scenario” he wants others to understand that he needs to appreciate some support too and share his responsibilities with someone or else he’ll feel too overwhelmed by things (poor baby ☹️)

jk: 6 of pentacles at the top + the emperor + knight of swords + knight of wands + king of wands + the hermit reversed + 4 of wands + 4 of pentacles and 8 of cups + the star at the bottom of the deck

jaaaaaaake let it goooooo baby its okay!!! jake is someone who’s unfortunately very good at ignoring his feelings. he likes to always look like someone who has everything under control and he does have everything under control but he’s also a human being with feelings!! he doesnt like to open up about his emotions to anyone, not even himself. hes very responsible, strong, stable and like to seek the “perfect image” for everyone. but he ends up repressing emotions to keep up with that. hes very much on automatic mode like “lets do it!! lets go right now! i need to perform, sing, dance do it all, i can handle it!!” he wants to express himself and live to the fullest but he’s not understanding that in order to enjoy all of that, his heart and mind have to be aligned. hes happy but he could be happier if he’d just relax and enjoy it, and because he doesnt he gets caught up in his on mind and feels lonely or disconnected even when everyone around him is having a blast. and because he ignores that hes feeling this way or is scared to look inside himself, he keeps getting on that never ending cycle. however, with the star at the bottom, i feel like hes starting to realize that, and has faith that he’ll be able to let that pattern go, because thats what he needs to do (we love u jakey fightiiinnng)

nk: 5 of wands at the top + 3 of wands + 7 of swords + the lovers + 3 of pentacles + 6 of wands reversed + 10 of swords and 10 of cups in the end + 8 of pentacles at the bottom of the deck

riki and his feelings/ thoughts are an absolute roller coaster rn. the energy that i got was that he needs to make a choice urgently. i dont know what it is about, id have to do another reading for that but is definitely related to work. hes feeling pressured and frustrated and even tried/ is trying to scape making that decision or confronting it directly. hes between making a change or keeping things the way they are (idk what that means either help ?&:/&@) i think he literally wants to run away from that either its a choice about feelings, ideas, insecurities and is isolating himself from it. defensive mode. he is trying to collaborate with others and be recognized but feels like hes getting underestimated. the thing is that he wants to keep everything under control and prove that he can keep it up but is actually exhausted/ tired. even if he recieves positive feedback, compliments or love hes thinking that his efforts are still not being recognized or seen. even though he is truly disappointed and feels very sad (😭) he wants to keep working and pushing further to be in complete harmony with everything. he doesnt want to be “okay” he wants to be THE BEST (tell him he already is plsss)

[woodsborostabathon]

if there is sibcon potential between any pair of canon siblings in the scream sequels i can say w 100% certainty that i have pondered it at least once. i may not ship most of the potential ones tbh but i HAVE pondered them! bc it’s not hard to do when it’s like (5) of them and ur starved for it 😭

[gongedtornado]

.

[kiss-me-muchoo]

𝐝𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞 || 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

summary_ when you declined to play Ddakji with a man, the least you expected was him stalking you, even less expected when you oblige him to lick your bleeding wound after seeing him kill a man and escaping him.

warnings_ MDNI, age gap (not specified but legal) reader is a foreigner (implied American but not specified again), stalking, NO KIDNAPPING NOR ABUSE HERE, blood play, dom!salesman, switch!reader, toxic till the end, sexual innuendos, manipulation, questionable morals, do not romanticize this irl pls, NO PROOFREAD YET

notes_ I’ll just drop this fic and leave it there bc why am i feeling so horny for an Asian sociopath? me la estoy pasando bien raro (i like it)

♫ ♪ the worst playlist 4 this man

✰ Index (+ fics here)

ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Everything was irritating. The class you had was canceled last minute, the crowd at the train station was loud, the tapping of a kid in a window was constant, and the message you received asking for your campus ID to keep using your student account was sudden and required immediate action. Your cramps and migraine only aggravate everything.

You were steps away from the stairs when you stopped to take the damn picture of your ID and be done with that. But of course, you couldn’t find your wallet at first glance, so you moved aside to take a better look.

You worried about kneeling and ruining your black coat with the dirtiness of the floor at the station, but at the same time, you thought it was just stupid.

A trail of curses flooded your mind as you tried to find your wallet, making you oblivious to a random man walking in your direction.

“Excuse me, Miss… Would you like to play Ddakji?” Said man asked you in Korean. You were occupied with a hand inside your thrifted designer tote, and your mind unconsciously prepared an answer in English.

“Sorry, I don’t have time” When you realized your mid-answer you sighed, just as you fished out your wallet. “For every win of yours, you’ll earn a great sum of cash”

Once you stood up, you met the face of the man who now answered in English as well. Very tall, handsome, innocent smile and in a suit; a businessman. You knew it was wrong to judge but there was something behind the smile he offered you that resulted eerie.

Like behind that seemingly blameless expression, the man was hiding his true intentions.

Might’ve been your eyes or hair that caught his attention. You weren’t native, and he didn’t want to think he could take advantage, yet his feet dragged him to you.

Placing your bag over your shoulder again, you grab your sunglasses and phone with tangled EarPods. You give the man one last look. You are not having a good day and you don’t have time to deal with this.

“What do you say?” He asks feigning kindness, eyeing you subtly without your knowledge.

“No, thank you. I don’t even know how the game works”

“You look like you are a natural. You might be surprised if you try. You just have to pick a color and try to flip the opposing tile”

The rich always trying to fuck the one who isn’t. This was just a new way. The urge to roll your eyes grew but you remained still.

“Look, I’m sorry. But I bet you do this just to see how desperate people who need money can go. I won’t be one of them. If not, sorry for misjudging you, sir” you harshly say before putting on your EarPods and leaving the station. You leave him perplexed, huffing in disbelief and igniting a fire of curiosity inside him.

And you completely forgot about the Ddakji man as you made it to your little apartment, not knowing he would turn upside down your upcoming days.

…

Warm days in winter were exciting for you. They boosted your energy and made you want to be out all day.

You had the luck of living in a beautiful complex because it was once from a friend of your mother who married years ago and now had her single apartment for rent.

It had long warm hallways that hosted at least eight apartments by floor. With orange and pink subtle lights and uneven edges. It was truly a sight despite how little the apartments were. One bedroom with closet and bathroom, a tiny studio, small kitchen, enough space for a dining table, another small bathroom, and a living room with balcony.

Your loneliness was well-balanced because you loved your home. But even on warm days, you wanted to be out.

Your red shoes contrasted with everything you stepped on. You carried a bag with a bunch of books and another one with thrifted clothes you bought.

At the park you always walked by, there was a fair amount of people as usual. You don’t care much to look around but someone makes you stare longer than needed.

The same man who asked if you wanted to play a game at the station was at the park. Another impeccable suit dressing him, looking attractive like the first time and already looking at you.

He offered you a smile, to which you didn’t reply. You looked at the ground, feeling like you had frozen.

What a weirdo, he offered bread and a random paper to a lonely man.

Simultaneously, you wondered if the man found you attractive enough to stare like that. With your mind that often became nihilistic, you thought you were delusional and that you should just keep walking.

His eyes remained glued to you. As his prey was thinking about what was better to choose, he contemplated you walking again.

The salesman realized he had made you nervous and that made him feel eager to end his job and follow you again.

Once he realized you lived in a good neighborhood, where his elegant suits matched the vibe, he got even more excited to see you again.

So now, it was meant to be.

How sweet, sophisticated, and innocent you looked.

Something shifted, as you passed by his side, only having a view of his back, you assumed he worked out, his hair looked perfectly fine, and his big hands offered two things. Perhaps you had misjudged him and he really wanted to help. But your inner voice said otherwise. In a sudden change of events, you decided to look back once you were almost at the exit of the park.

With his deep gaze still set on you, your lips formed a smile.

And he took it as a first win in the games that had begun between you two.

…

Once again, you find yourself in the library. Inside one of the biggest malls you’ve been to, you are leaning at a counter, asking if they have an English translation of a book you were interested in.

Your Korean isn’t good enough yet, so as the nice librarian disappeared to find your request, you are working on your next reply, with a translation app.

“Do you recommend me this one?” your back arched as a startled reflex. You quickly stand straight and turn around to see the person you grew anxious to avoid and see again. The salesman is there, looking up and down at you with a perfectly orchestrated smile.

“Huh?” you ask disconcertingly, he shows you a book, his face looking like he had found a wounded little bird. But it was only you, startled and nervous by his strong presence.

The book is The Divine Comedy. Dante Alighieri.

“Certainly is a good one. A lot of heavenly justice…” you say trying to sound confident, looking at the cover of the book. Displaying the layers that separated heaven from hell. “Do you believe in heavenly justice, miss?”

“I don’t know. We can’t call someone a sinner without a proper trial beforehand” he chuckles, which makes you frown for a second. He truly was unpredictable and you didn’t like that. “Ah, sinners. Always misjudged and harshly punished for being the ones who have the guts to make things…” his deep voice and tone made you wonder if he was self-perceived as a sinner, which made you feel worse.

“You sound like an ethnocentric…”

“I don’t think I’m far into that type of thinking, y/n” Your eyes almost popped out, leaving your hands in an anxious tremble.

“How is it possible that you know my name?” Before he can even answer, you add more. “You are stalking me”

His demonic smile makes your heart stop. The smile you once thought had innocence can’t blind you anymore. He isn’t innocent. He literally confirmed he was stalking you and you didn’t know how to feel.

“I don’t like the idea that conveys the word ‘stalking’. We can call it predestination…” you huff in disbelief. “What do you want with me?”

“I would like to get to know the woman who rejected my Ddakji offer. And ask for one more game” Your lips form a line, and quietly you are hating how much you are enjoying the conversation.

“Hmm, I’m bad at most games, so I’m afraid I will reject you once again” You turned back again to see if the librarian was coming when you felt him stepping closer, which made you feel nervous again.

“I might believe you. I always win…” he whispered in your ear, sending shivers through your spine and creating a lot of tension.

Your psycho mode almost made you lean forward again, daring to see if some friction was possible. But you didn’t, trying to be prudent and acting sane.

“I would’ve wanted a normal first interaction and this time you should’ve asked me out on a date. That’s how it works where I come from but… here, I guess not” he stepped aside as the librarian handed you the book. And as you thanked her and turned to leave and pay somewhere else, he took out a card and handed it to you.

“I’m sure we can work on some sort of arrangement. Here, you may call me…” slightly irritated that he didn’t say much about your inquiry, you snatched the card and walked away.

The cathartic feelings of wanting to keep talking to him and running away from him at the same time resulted in excruciating. It didn’t make sense, the point of him was to nowhere. Being clueless about his age, name, and everything made it feel wrong. Yet, curiosity was starting to burn you.

…

Like a miracle, the heavens moved and sprinkled some luck above you. You found some friends on campus, they spoke English like you and were foreigners as well. One of them was a friend of the owner of a club and invited you for the night.

The invitation made you forgetful about your salesman, whom you hadn’t talked with since the encounter in the library. The card he handed the last time rested between the book you bought the same day, making you unable to read more because it reminded you of the last encounter with him.

It resulted unknown to you when was that your life had turned over the edge of becoming twisted. Your feelings for a mysterious man who seemed more accusable than appeared remained undecided.

He made you feel like a wildfire and a caged bird at the same time. Delicate but menacing.

He seemed older than you, professional in a field, mature and imposing. Which you didn’t mind when he appeared to ask you about The Divine Comedy. Either way, you were playing but couldn’t risk anything. Especially in a country where you didn’t know how everything worked.

After getting out of the shower, your thoughts on the salesman are completely faded. You slip on a sequin dress and paint your eyes with glitter and a smokey style.

Thereafter, at the club you let yourself go and have a wild night. Between classes, essays, and the issue with the salesman, you needed a time out.

Everything feels nice when you take a bathroom break and you smile at your reflection. You know you are close to be drunk, it’s the most enjoyable stage of ingesting alcohol.

“Hey, let’s go dancing, I couldn’t find you before!” Yells one of your friends after you reunite with the little group. You nod excitedly, taking her hand and letting her take you to the dance floor.

The music reminded you of that time when spinnin records music was a trend and everyone played their mixes at parties back at home. As you move along the track, you don’t look at anything in particular, you just feel interesting and sexy. But your eyes end up giving a quick glance at one table, almost making you stop your euphoric moment.

You swore you saw your salesman.

Looking around you don’t see him, so you return dancing but the odd sensation in your chest doesn’t let you rest.

“What happens?” Asks another friend, looking worried.

“Nothing. Just thought I saw someone. Never mind…” you shake your head, smiling and convincing them that everything is fine.

But once they got more drunk to notice your departure, you walked out, despite curiosity, you wanted to confirm if the tall gorgeous man was near you.

Rarely you bring up to question your life decisions. Not because you thought you were perfect, but because you easily accepted your errors.

And it wasn’t hard to accept you completely messed up by getting out of the club. Where the night was colder, and some steps away from the main entrance, the crowd was loud. A man could be heard pleading and sobbing, which made you fearful but eager to see what was happening.

You peeked at the alley beside the club. A wave of shock flooded you once you noticed another man was punching the one who yelped and sobbed for forgiveness.

Your salesman was the attacker.

“Please! I’ll pay everything back!” Your mind raced back to the moment you spotted your salesman inside the club minutes ago.

His dark grey suit didn’t fit the aura of the place, but he seemed to be talking with the same man he was now punching.

It was obvious at that point that he wasn’t a good man. He made fun of making people play his seemingly innocent games to later laugh in their faces whenever they lost. He was never flirting with you, the odd feeling of uncertainty you felt with him was right.

You had to go. You had to burn the card he gave you, avoid the station where you met him, and forget about his face.

There’s panic in your system, your heart beats fast and nausea starts coming up your throat.

You want to get immediately drunk and forget everything you saw with a hangover. You need it.

But you don’t get very far. Midway through the stairs that conduct to the club, a hand holds your forearm with extreme pressure and drags you inside a private room.

Your salesman finally found you.

…

“You just killed a man!” you almost yelled as soon as he pushed you inside and closed the door.

The room was very fancy like the club. It had a big desk near a window, flower-shaped hanging lamps, black sparkly floor tiles, and a sage velvet couch.

Your salesman slides his fingers through his hair and looks at the ceiling before turning to you. One hand still carrying the murder weapon.

“He deserved it” was all he answered and you take a breath. In need of an alibi, you opened a random fridge in the room and grabbed a beer. Your salesman watched how you sipped at the can. He knew you were feeling a mix of curiosity and disgust for him.

Once you drink at least half of the content, you sigh, brushing aside some hair and walking towards him.

“Who are you?” you ask pleadingly, desperate to know how far you’ve gone for him.

“Eventually you’ll know” he sounds cold, calculating, and menacing. “You didn’t call…”

He was taking advantage of your vulnerability.

“I met you a week ago, I don’t even know your name” you admit with shame and dissatisfaction.

For the first time, he genuinely touches you. Hands straight to your waist, making gasp in surprise.

“You’re smart and will eventually understand. You’re my good girl”

His good girl….

What was left to do when you have a sociopath holding your waist with the same hands he had used to kill a man? Play along, even if you are terrified.

What had been your horrified face, slowly ends up in a smirk, tilting your head, squandering cheekiness. “I’m not your good girl, sir”

He slowly leaned back, taking a seat on the sage couch, one of his hands going straight to rest behind his head, against the wall. He twirled the knife against his knee, making you uneasy, but confident about your upcoming words.

“If I walk away, you can’t do much with me, I’m a foreigner. Sure the authorities would dismantle whatever dirty job you’re into and that’s a big no-no” you explain, and feeling a little too bold, you step between his legs.

“Your lack of ignorance amazes me” he admits, offering you a cocky smile. “It makes me even more infatuated”

Your left knee pushed aside his hand twirling the knife. He remained still but sure seemed slightly surprised when you ended up straddling him. With your hands glued to his dark tie, putting it into place.

“Hmm, well, be careful. I am no threat, I barely have valuable skills to get rid of you but I know I could be a problem. So I guess I won, sir…” you allow yourself to smile, following a path with your fingers, from his tie to his cheeks and nose, softly tracing his pale skin.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, sweetheart” You knew he was trying to be in control, and the best part was that you weren’t fighting for it.

“There’s a lot I might not understand. I’m just a girl who happened to be in this city for a temporary academic project” When your lips brushed his, you couldn’t deny he was so fucking hot, you wished he wasn’t so weird and probably part of a mafia or cult or whatever. “You are the grown-ass man who got obsessed with me”

“I just find you an odd but interesting player, sweet girl” he tried to use his innocent smile but it was useless when you grabbed him by the shoulders and finally dared to kiss him.

He controlled it the moment he touched you again. His hands had a possessive sting and firmly grabbed you by the hips. One of them still holding the knife.

Feeling bold, with adrenaline flowing freely, you softly bit his lower lip. You knew it was over when he almost let out a moan, and after checking he had his eyes closed, you literally jumped away from him.

Without looking back, you started running. Your clumsy steps turn frantic, knowing damn well he would start following you soon. As you literally start pushing people to get out, your heart beats faster than ever and you have a growing anxiety, begging you to stop and breathe.

Once the cold air hit you, as you took a cab and saw no sign of your salesman, confusion struck you and you saw the blood in your chest and arm.

“Are you alright, girl?” The driver asked, also watching your bleeding state.

“Yes, just an accident, I’m okay” he nods unsure, but starts driving after you give him your destination.

His knife must’ve sliced your skin when you stood up from his lap. When he moved one of his big hands to caress your chin.

It wasn’t that you were scared of him, of your salesman. Although you should be; but you weren’t. Could it be that the worst part was that you were attracted to him? Even after watching him kill a man? You were screwed.

You realize the reason why you always ran away from him is because you don’t know how to face his unpredictable demeanor.

At that point, you didn’t know what he wanted. Only that he was obsessed with you. But his intentions remained a mystery unsolved.

Before getting out of the cab, you pay and send your friends a message that you left early because you got a headache after vomiting. This didn’t happen, but would’ve been better to not experience it as a young woman in her twenties.

…

When you opened the door, he was already inside. The worst part is that you weren’t surprised anymore. You only stood at the feet of the door, looking at him with uneasiness.

“You got me worried,” he says, stopping his movements around your table. “You left some blood stains and I thought it was serious”

“You accidentally showed me your true nature. A little bit of blood shouldn’t scare you” his shirt indeed had some bloody spots, his blazer was gone, and the sleeves of his messy shirt were rolled up. You hated that your first thought was that he looked very hot.

He moved and took a seat at one of your tables. He sighed and you realized that perhaps he was also screwed up. For letting himself go too far for you.

“I don’t regret any encounter we’ve had,” he says. “Me neither”

He can’t stop staring at your bloodstained dress and you notice.

Fuck everything, you thought.

I’m attracted to him, he’s attracted to me, What’s the worst thing that could happen? (I don’t want to know).

“Silly boy, look what you did to me,” you say looking at the soaked fabric.

Something possessed you at that moment. Your hands went straight to lift your dress. His eyes trailed your sparkly underwear, your lower belly, and your ribs that rose and fell as you breathed.

Your hands twirl behind your back to unhook your bra; also soaked, throwing it to the floor.

Your salesman is quiet, his innocent smile about to fall because you know you have taken him by surprise.

Likely you’ll get a scar. The wound being slightly deep, an uneven line that passed from your neck to your shoulder.

You step forward, confidently eyeing him.

“Clean it” he tried to stand up, probably to grab a med kit but you stopped him with your heel. “With your mouth. Lick it clean…”

He gulped.

His manspread became the only thing you could care about. How he eyed you with lust and possession for some seconds, and then to lean forwards.

Once again his hands landed on the curves of your hips and he made you step up, leaving him inches away from you.

Your sudden surgation grew and his hot tongue finally made contact with your skin.

You savored the feeling of his tongue, knowing he wouldn’t clean anything but the semi-dry blood over your breast. He was only making a mess.

Then, he lifts his head and catches your lips in a sullied kiss. The way he held you, made you understand how he always wanted control. Above anything.

“I will be gone within time. You can ruin me while it lasts…” you blurt out, panting for air.

“I’ll ruin you. But I don’t want to rip you apart. That’s pointless…” he admits in your lips, blood near your chin that he wipes out. “You’re the most fun I’ve had in years. My little toy…”

“Alright, I’ll be your toy” he nods, kissing you again. “Know that my lips are sealed when it comes to you”

“And you won’t have to worry about anything again…” you moan on his lips when he pulls your hair and finally makes you lay on your once new carpet, now displaying some splotches of blood.

“I don’t need your money”

“Don’t you want to make your mother proud and relieved from student debts? From rent?” You can’t think straight. “It’s not correct…”

“None of this is, y/n. Now shut your mouth and spread your legs, toy”

It’s wrong, immoral, a complete madness. You know everything will change once the night dies and the morning comes. But as much as you tried to communicate to him that you weren’t scared, you knew it was over, you’ve gotten too deep into his shit.

“Farewell to my purity” you whisper in his ear and it’s enough to make his eyes turn darker, full of lust.

Everything that consoles purity would be gone from you. And the fact that you were ready scared you. But once his hands started meeting places across your body, you welcomed the sin.

As well as your mind seized thinking. Not caring about the consequences.

_______________________________________________

If you ask for more I will provide

Quién me manda a escribir estas mamadas? I’m just ovulating.

[mainstreamangel]

LACY

C. Clark x Fem!Reader

Summary: You were so incredibly jealous of Caitlin Clark. She was perfect, she was good at everything, she was attractive. She got it all. So why do you feel an interfering emotion that you suspect isn't jealousy?

Genre: Fluff/Angst

Warning(s): lowk very mild toxic!reader if you squint. (only bc make her share her special moment w u :) )

WC: 2.1k

Lacy, oh, Lacy, skin like puff pastry.

She was so perfect. Everyone knew her, everyone loved her.

Did you hear Caitlin Clark...

I love Caitlin she's so pretty!!

Clark is so charming and her teammate? She's so not. I can't even remember her name.

You weren't sure why people painted you out to be the antagonist. All you ever were was her teammate. You two had talked a bunch during practices and stuff but you weren't friends. On the court you didn't really talk though. You fought, argued even.

"That was such a shit pass Clark."

"You'd never be as good as me." She'd say.

You were both on the same team but it seemed like a rivalry stirred beneath the surface.

Good work Clark, keep it up.

You need to be a bit faster [last name]

You would scowl every time your coach praised her for small things while she criticised you for basically everything.

You hated her. She hated you. On campus you'd pass people talking about the game that previous night, all the praise to Caitlin pouring religiously out of their lips.

Aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of hell?

They wouldn't mention you but sometimes when they did, it was just criticism.

Did you see that shot she took? There's no way she thought that was a good idea. Why didn't she just pass it to Caitlin? Caitlin always makes her baskets.

You'd look at them and give them a dirty look, and in return they'd continue to gossip.

You eventually reach the training facility and walk onto the court. You didn't bring much with you, keys, ID, and your phone plus some headphones.

You put them in and started messing around with the ball. You weren't expecting anyone to come in. But yet, halfway through your little solo practice, a certain 6'0 dark haired figure walked in.

Her hair pulled back, and determination planted on her face.

"What're you doing here?" She asked.

You hadn't heard her. You continued to throw the ball into the net countless of times. Making in most of the time, some bounced from sloppy form or bad aim.

"Hello??" She asked, louder.

Still nothing. Not sure why she did this, but she picked up one of the basketballs on the rack and threw it at your back.

"Hey!" You whipped around and caught her eye.

You took out your headphones and gave her a questioning look.

"What was that for?" You snapped.

"You can't fucking hear shit, dude. I asked why you were here."

"Practicing duh."

"Can I join?" She asked.

You rolled your eyes and stepped aside for her to have the net. You took the other side of the court, the opposing net that she could've had but she wanted yours.

You practiced a bit more, still not hearing anything but your music so you minimised the opportunity for conversation.

You didn't realised how far you were backing up until you bumped into Caitlin and fell to the floor. The ball skidded away and you held your ankle.

Groaning in pain, you peaked an eye open and saw Caitlin crouched to your level, she showed a quick look of concern before it was sealed up again.

"Are you alright?" She asked, coldly.

You looked into her eyes, thinking about how pretty they were up close.

Dear angel Lacy, eyes white as daisies.

"Fine."

She offered you a hand and you brushed it off, getting up on your own and grabbing your things. You don't say anything to her, walking out of the facility and back to your place. Your heart was racing. Both from the gym and from how close she was. How agonisingly beautiful she was under finer detail.

You could feel your pulse in your throat. The thumping of your emotions, rattling to come up on the surface. To force you to accept your underlying feelings of both jealousy of her perfection and jealousy that she isn't yours.

You knew she didn't swing that way. She had dated a few guys here and there, none of them really sticking but you've never seen her with a woman before.

Did I ever tell you that I'm not doing well?

The next game you attend, you're starting. As Iowa's shooting guard, you pride of yourself of making the majority of your shots. Following Caitlin's lead as Iowa's point guard.

It was a tough game, your opponents putting up a good fight. It was almost time for halftime and you were breathing kind of heavy.

"Your skills fucking suck. You're so bad."

One of the girls on the other team says.

You whip around and look at her.

"The fuck did you just say?"

"I said, you don't deserve to play. You're just dragging your team down. No wonder Caitlin has to carry your sorry ass of a player every game."

Before you can say anything someone towers over the girl with a killer look.

"Say another fucking word about her. I dare you."

"Chill Clark, I'm only speaking the truth."

"Go back to your team, you're done here."

The girl rolls her eyes but obliges, walking back to her team and to the tunnel.

"You alright?" She asked, turning to you.

"I had it, Caitlin. Plus it doesn't bother me. Used to it by now." You look down, frustrated.

Ooh, I care, I care, I care.

You sat on the side, watching your team play. Iowa was in the lead. Cheers were heard from the crowd and from your teammates. You cheered too, your voice pushing to be better.

Sometimes your eyes would linger on Caitlin's form longer than intended but you forced yourself to remember your relationship with the girl.

Like perfume that you wear, I linger all the time. Watchin', hidden in plain sight.

By the final buzzer, Iowa had won. You shot up and started running to the court. You weren't sure who you were going to go to first but Caitlin had reached you and she had the biggest smile on her face. She tackled you into a hug, yelling over the crowd.

"WE DID IT!!" She screamed.

You were shocked. You froze for moment before laughing. You hugged her back and put one of the hats on her head.

She did the same with you and you looked up at her with soft eyes. You two hated each other, but maybe for a moment you could put it to rest.

Senior night had arrived and Caitlin had stood in the middle of the court, watching her jersey number get retired. She had a beaming smile, everything she had worked for had gone her way. She got everything, no matter what it was, she was so perfect the only karma she ever got in life was good karma.

From the side you had a sour face. You felt jealousy bubble up in your veins. Your jersey number wasn't getting retired. It wasn't you who was standing on the court, about to give a speech about your time at Iowa and all the things you've accomplished.

You tried to push aside your feelings when she hugged you. It would only complicate things and it wouldn't even work out, you were about to get drafted to different teams and would have to play against each other, only confirming a stirring rivalry.

Ooh, I try, I try, I try. But it takes over my life.

"...I wanna thank all the fans for supporting my games and I want to thank my teammate, and my friend, [Name]. She has pushed me to be the best player of my potential and I wouldn't be here without her support." She looks at you in the crowd.

Your face is shocked. You didn't expect her to give you a special piece of her speech. You thought she'd just boast about herself but she thanked you. What did you ever do? You caused her problems, you fought with her, argued with her, you hated the girl. She hated you. Did she?

Cheers were heard and you stood up. You wanted to force your body to sit down, let Caitlin have her moment. But you walk down to the court and stand infront of her. She's a bit taller than you, only a couple inches.

But you grab her face and plant your lips firmly on hers. Out of hatred of course. 'She's so perfect, she gets it all' kind of hatred. The kind of hate you feel when she gives you that sweet million dollar smile.

I see you everywhere. The sweetest torture one could bear.

You release yourself from her and she looks at you with a goofy grin.

"Proud of you." you mumble, pushing your ego aside.

"Your validation is all I've ever wanted to hear." She kisses your head.

Draft night had arrived and you were both sitting at your respective tables. You hadn't spoken about that night that you kissed infront of countless of people.

Clips of the kiss blew up, rumours stirred and theories were strung.

"You look hot." She mouthed when she caught your eye.

You smirked and gave her a hand heart.

Voices quieted down when the announcer came up to the podium.

Smart sexy Lacy, I'm losing it lately. I feel your compliments like bullets on skin.

She gave her annual speech and finally the picks were to be announced.

"With the first pick of the 2024 WNBA draft, the Indiana Fever select..."

You held your breath. You knew you weren't first pick. But Caitlin was. You wanted her to go to a good team, one that would fit her needs. One where her new friends wouldn't treat her as bad as you did.

"Caitlin Clark, University of Iowa."

Dazzling starlet, Bardot reincarnate. Well, aren't you the greatest thing to ever exist?

You clapped, but your lips stood in a thin line as Caitlin stood up to give hugs to everyone at her table.

You watched as she gave the last person a hug before coming up to your table and holding her arms out at your sitting figure. You stood up and gave her a tight hug.

"Proud of you Clark, can't wait to see what you accomplish during your time with the Fever." You mumble into her shoulder.

She rocks you two back and forth for a second, then kissing your head and walking up to the stage, taking pictures with her draftee jersey. It was a bittersweet moment for Caitlin, but more of a bitter moment for you than sweet. You knew you worked hard but it hurt not to be the first pick.

Ooh, I care, I care, I care, like ribbons in your hair, my stomach's all in knot. You got the one thing that I want.

"And with the third pick in the 2024 WNBA draft, the Indiana Fever select, [Name], University of Iowa." You stand up as a only a few people clapped for you.

You wanted to disappear. Just because you were always seen as just short of Caitlin Clark, you were painted out as the villain. You felt tears well up in your eyes as you hugged the few people at your table and walked up to the front for quick pictures with your draftee jersey. But as you were smiling for pictures you heard an obnoxious voice that you were slowly growing to love.

Caitlin had stood up and started clapping and cheering for you.

"That's my girl!" She beamed.

Your heart melted and you smiled back at her.

Ooh, I try, I try, I try. Try to rationalize, people are people. But it's like you're made of angel dust.

From Caitlin's cheering it inspired people little by little till the whole room was properly clapping for you. You smiled and gave her a thankful look.

She blew you a kiss and you blew one back before heading down and running to her arms.

"Thank you, thank you really." You sniffled.

"I'll always be here to cheer you on."

As you two grew on the Fever team, your bond had been built stronger too. Your new friends created an environment where you didn't have to feel like you were living in Caitlin's shadow, you could be your own player and you were equally just as good as her.

You learned that you two had similar skills but you also had skills that made your positions perfectly tailored to your playstyles. That's what made you such a strong duo.

After your first professional game, Caitlin pulled you aside and asked you to be her girlfriend. You smiled and nodded.

Leaning up to give her a soft kiss in secluded halls, it was a perfect ending beginning to your story.

Lacy, oh, Lacy, it's like you're out to get me. You poison every little thing that I do.

Lacy, oh, Lacy, I just loathe you lately, and I despise my jealous eyes and how hard they fell for you.

Yeah, I despise my rotten mind and how much it worships you.

[sansaorgana]

Hiiiii! If you like either version I'd like to request a Benny fic with a Reader who works at some place he frequesnts bc of getting in trouble 🙄🙃

My first thought would be the hospital/doctors office but police or lawyer related jobs could be another option too

hi, love! thank you so much for the request 🥰 I chose a police station where Reader is not a cop but jut a girl sitting by the desk, kinda like Lucy from Twin Peaks 😉

⚠️ TW ⚠️ Reader is coming back home late at night and she is bothered by some guys

I had to close my requests for now because I got so many 🙏🏻

You shook your head with a coffee cup in your hand at the sight of a man being walked inside the police station. He was cuffed behind his back as two big policemen were pushing him by his shoulders.

“Hi, (Y/N),” he winked at you as he walked past your desk. “How are you today?”

“Great, Mr. Cross. You?” You teased him as you addressed him officially.

“Not so good,” he chuckled with a shake of his head and the policemen pushed him to walk faster as they escorted him to his cell.

Benjamin Cross. You knew all his personal information by heart now. You knew his ID number more than your own. Working at the police station was never boring and you had your favourites amongst the Chicago criminals but Benny Cross was definitely your favourite. He had that bad boy charm and sexy mystery behind those baby blue eyes. He reminded you of a wild lion with his golden beard and blond hair. He was a biker – a man of the road, a personification of freedom. Well, hardly, to be honest. Because he was spending way too many nights in the cell for a man loving freedom so much.

Another thing you knew by heart was the phone number to the club where his friends worked. It was the phone call he always wanted to make so you dialled it already after putting the coffee cup down.

“Hi,” you said after some man with an unpleasant voice answered. “It’s the police station. Your friend Benny’s here again,” you informed him.

“Thanks,” he only said and hung up on you.

One of the policemen that had been dragging Benny now approached your desk and dropped a few files on it with a sigh.

“Cross, Benjamin,” he told you and you rolled your eyes.

“I know,” you laughed. “What again?”

“Speed limit. Caused a few crushes,” the man explained. “If I see his face once again, I’m gonna turn it to pulp, I swear.”

“No, don’t,” you giggled and he shook his head.

“Women,” he commented and walked away.

You put the papers aside and fixed your skirt before standing up to go to see Benny. You walked past the cells until you spotted him laying on the bed in an empty cell at the end of the corridor. He had used to be locked with other men but he had been starting fights and since then he was given a single cell.

“I called your friends already,” you told him as you leaned on the metal bars and he raised an eyebrow at you with a smug smile.

“Thanks, doll.”

“You must like it here, huh?” You asked, playfully.

“Well, I don’t hate it,” he answered. “As long as you work here,” he added and sat up on the bed to lean back on the wall. “Can you get me a cigarette?”

“I can,” you sighed and walked back to your desk.

It was confusing, really. The way you liked him although you shouldn’t. The way you enjoyed his teasing and his flirting although you knew he probably was like that with half of the city. And if it was any other man, you would tell him to go to hell. But Benny was already coming from there. And he was making you feel intrigued about it.

You grabbed a pack of cigarettes and a lighter that you kept in your desk. You took one cigarette out of the pack and went back to his cell. He was waiting for you by the bars and you passed the cigarette and the lighter to him. He lit it and gave you back the lighter as he looked deep into your eyes.

“Thanks, angel face,” he nodded.

“No problem,” you shrugged your arms. “You think they gonna bail you out?”

“Yeah, they always do,” Benny sat on the bed again and leaned back on the wall.

“Okay. I’ll prepare the papers then,” you pointed at your desk with your thumb and walked away.

You worked on them for some time and stared at the clock on the wall. Your shift would be over soon and Benny’s friends weren’t showing up at all. You started to feel bad for him. What if this time they stood him up? It wouldn’t surprise you – after all, they had already spent quite a lot of money on him. And perhaps this time was one too many.

“Hey,” you approached the cell again. He was laying on the bed with his hands under his head as he was staring at the ceiling. He lazily looked up at you. “I’m going home soon. I don’t think your friends are comin’ tonight.”

“They’ll come,” he only said.

“Well, whatever you say. Good night,” you looked down, awkwardly.

You went back to your desk to pick your things up and looked behind you one last time while biting on your lower lip. But what did you expect, really? He was a criminal and you were working at the police station. You shook your thoughts away and left the moment you saw your friend walking in – her shift was just starting.

When you came back to work on the next day, Benny was not in the cell anymore. His friends had bailed him out at night. You were glad that he didn’t have to rot there but it was making you feel a bit sad that he was gone for now. For some reason you missed him already.

He didn’t even like you, did he? Well, he was flirting here and there but he wasn’t very talkative when you were trying to engage in conversations. Or maybe that was a part of his bad boy persona to be a man of a few words. Either way, he was messing with your head and you didn’t like it. It was not like you had a chance with him. And not like he had a chance with you… After all, you were a respectable woman.

God, why were you even thinking of such things? It was not like he was thinking of you the same way. He probably wasn’t thinking of you at all.

On that day you worked until late and it was dark already when you finished. You ran to the bus station but the last bus had already left without you in it. You didn’t live away but you feared taking a walk in the dark. However, you had to.

You fixed your jacket and started to walk down the street, turning around all the time to make sure no one was walking behind you. But after a while you spotted two men walking ahead of you. You wanted to cross the street but they already spotted you.

One of them whistled and you kept your head low, walking past them as they stopped and looked you up and down.

“Hey,” one of them suddenly pointed out. “Isn’t she that bitch working at the police station?”

You swallowed thickly. You recognised that voice. It was one of the men that were being arrested often. Kind of like Benny… Except this guy was not one of your favourites. He was actually a man you feared. He had been often threatening the cops and everyone working at the station to teach them a lesson one day.

You picked up your pace as you tried to walk faster and faster, you nearly ran.

“Hey, wait! You’re not running away!” You heard his voice and the heavy footsteps following you.

You were in such a rush and fear that you didn’t care anymore about anything else – the only thing that mattered was to survive. The ringing in your ears made all the other noise inseparable and you didn’t look around before entering the street to cross it.

And then you spotted a huge motorbike right in front of your face. It stopped inches away from you as you jumped in your place and swallowed thickly. Its reflectors were blinding you at first but after blinking a few times, you spotted it was Benny on his motorbike. He looked terrified, too, with widened eyes and hands clutched onto his motorbike’s handlebar. He had just nearly killed you after all and it was all your fault.

“I… I’m so sorry…” You began to apologise and you looked behind you. The man who had been threatening you and his friend were standing on the pavement and watching the scene.

“They been following you, doll?” Benny asked as he pointed at them with his head.

You nodded, shyly. Benny sighed and parked the bike by the pavement. He stopped the engine and jumped on his feet. You felt safer now with him around.

“Go home,” he looked at you sternly.

“But…” You gasped. It felt bad to just leave him here alone with these guys. Benny was a tough cookie but these two were dangerous as well. And they had the advantage since there were two of them.

“I said, go,” Benny ordered. You nodded and hurried back home, too scared to look back.

You couldn’t sleep at night, tossing and turning. In the morning you called the police station and told them you were sick. You were scared of leaving the house, actually. After last night’s accident… You had no idea what would happen if Benny hadn’t been around. What a coincidence it had been, by the way… And what had actually happened? Had he won the fight? Had there been a fight at all? What if the guys had won, hurt him and now they were waiting for you to show up on the streets?

You waited for everyone from your family to go to work before you walked downstairs and prepared breakfast. You didn’t want them to see you in such a state because they’d start asking questions and you didn’t want to worry anyone.

Around ten, you were already after breakfast and you took a quick shower. You changed into comfortable clothes and sat by the TV, not planning to leave the house at all for the whole day.

When someone knocked upon the door, you were startled. The very first thing that came to your mind was that these two criminals had found you. With a heavy heart and trembling hands, you approached the TV set to turn it off. Trying to avoid passing the windows, you carefully approached the front door and shakily looked through the peephole. You sighed with relief at the sight of Benny Cross leaning on the doorframe. There was a bruise on his face but other than that, he looked fine.

You opened the door and he looked you up and down as if he was checking on you.

“Benny. How do you know where I live?” You asked.

“Why aren’t you at work?” He raised his eyebrows.

“How do you know?”

“‘Cuz I been sitting across the street all night long, making sure they wouldn’t come around,” he explained and pointed at his motorbike parked across the street.

“What?” You widened your eyes.

“I saw your folks leavin’ but not you. You okay?” He asked, worryingly.

“Scared,” you admitted and hugged yourself as the cold from the outside was starting to bother you. Then you realised he had been standing out there all night long. “Come in,” you invited him in.

A criminal that had been in your arrest countless times before. Your mother would kill you if she was there. But she wasn’t.

“Wanna eat something? Drink?” You asked him awkwardly as he was looking around.

“Well…” He started. “A sandwich would be nice. And a cup of coffee.”

“Sure,” you nodded and took him to the kitchen. You sat him by the kitchen table and began to prepare the meal for him. “What happened yesterday?” You asked.

“I taught ‘em a lesson. They shouldn’t bother you anymore. But I wanted to make sure they’d keep their word,” he answered casually and yawned. You smiled to yourself.

“You didn’t have to do this…”

“And let them hurt you?” Benny snorted and you pursed your lips.

“It was a miracle you were there. I don’t know what I’d do if you…” your hands started to shake as you dropped the knife you were spreading the butter with. You pressed the hand to your forehead and stood there, trying to catch a breath again. The flashes of the last night came back to you and you fought the tears.

Benny stood up carefully and stood behind you, not knowing what to do to cheer you up without crossing your boundaries.

“Hey, it was no miracle, (Y/N). I’m always there. I mean, whenever I can. I’m always driving around to make sure you make it home safe. That’s how I know where you live. I heard some guys talking one day when I was arrested, they were talking about you in a way that made me realise it’s not safe for you because of your work, so yeah…” He cleared his throat, scared that he accidentally revealed too much.

You lowered your hand and looked at him, surprised.

“You… You do all these things?” You couldn’t believe it.

“Yeah,” he nodded and hid his hands into the pockets of his trousers.

“But… why?”

Benny didn’t know what to answer. He shrugged his arms and watched your face.

“You’re nice to me,” he pointed out.

“Thank you,” you smiled gently and went back to preparing the sandwich. “Do you… Do you want something in return? I owe you,” you told him as he sat down by the table again.

“Nah, I’m fine,” Benny leaned on the wall and watched you serve him breakfast. “I mean, the sandwich and the coffee are enough, thanks.”

You sat in front of him and watched him devour his meal in three big bites. You played nervously with your fingers.

He cared more about you than you had been expecting. It felt nice and surprising and… It was messing with your head even further now.

“Thanks once again. I’ll go home now, need some sleep,” he stood up and you looked up at him with puppy eyes, to which he froze and raised his eyebrows.

“You saved my life,” you whispered.

“It’s nothing, really.”

“To me it’s everything,” you swallowed a lump in your throat. 

Short and awkward silence occurred between you two. Benny looked around as if he was contemplating on something. Eventually, he offered you his hand, which you hesitantly took and felt him pull you up. You stood up and faced him before he cupped your face and joined your lips together in a kiss.

Your eyes widened and at first you didn’t kiss him back out of shock. But after a short while, you closed your eyes and gave in. You placed your hands flat on his chest as you opened your mouth to let his tongue in.

You had always wondered what he would kiss like and it was even better than all your fantasies. It was overwhelming, really. His strength, his smell, his taste, the small groan he let out from the depth of his throat. You moaned in response and Benny’s hands dropped down to your waist and then lower, to your ass as he squeezed it. You giggled without breaking the kiss but he moved away slightly anyway to catch his breath.

“Benny…” You smirked at him and fixed your hair nonchalantly.

“Yeah?” He asked, unsurely, scared of your reaction to the kiss.

“You don’t have to keep getting arrested to meet with me, you know?”

MASTERLIST || BENNY MASTERLIST

[thechy-fychannel]

Pls ramble about domestic everywhere but princeton-plainsboro hilson and thirteen occasionally coming over for holidays and stuff pls pls pls!!! Id love to hear more

I would be happy to!!!

they go a weekend trip to the flea market in the next town over about once a month. it's just about the only time wilson can get house out of bed early bc house loves going to the flea market. they always hold hands while walking up and down the various aisles, pulling each other to the booths they want to look at, even if house will pretend to complain about each one they go to. house loves pointing out obvious knock offs that ppl are trying to pass off as genuine and wilson always gets a kick out of watching him demolish the scammer trying to charge $400 for a bad knock off handbag.

wilson secretly schedules a time for them to sneak around in the backseat of his car for a while. not just because they're desperately horny for each other all the time, but because they both get this sick nostalgic thrill from it, reminiscing about fooling around in the back seat when they absolutely should not have been. it makes them feel young and freshly in love again and sometimes they need that, they need to just hide away from the world for a while and remember what that felt like all those years ago.

every now and then, someone who also works at the hospital will see them having dinner together and they swear it looked like a date, they swear house and wilson were looking at each other with big heart eyes and it did not look platonic at all. and then house will like, send out a hospital wide memo the next day about being able to see cuddy's bra through her shirt and everyone's like "yeah uh huh sure, he's obviously gay with the guy known for fucking half the nurses here 🙄"

as part of bearing the responsibility of knowing their secret, thirteen's place becomes the "dog house" when her dads friends are fighting. house has shown up at her door drunk and sad a few times and when she asks him why he didn't just sleep on their couch, house always has an excuse, but she always comes to realize that the guy just didn't want to be alone and thirteen was the only one he could be honest with about what they were fighting about and why house can't just put his ego aside and apologize. wilson almost always comes to pick him up the next morning, bringing breakfast with him that they all enjoy and her dads friends are back to normal by the time they leave her place.

the holiday's become unbearable for her after her brother is gone. her dad moved to live closer to his family, and she can't stand the idea of being around them all grieving her brother while she alone carries the knowledge that she killed him, even if she knows it was the right thing to do. neither house or wilson ask her to explain when she says she's not going to go home for christmas. wilson invites her over and ofc she tries to decline, says she wouldn't want to intrude, but wilson insists and says they're not doing anything special, just eating takeout and listening to house play christmas music on the piano, maybe watch a movie or two and drink a little too much wine or beer. she swears she'll be fine alone, but she shows up at their door on christmas anyways and she is so happy to not be alone. house and wilson get tipsy and they're so cute, kissing on the couch, making each other laugh and house making all sorts of innuendos about the kind of gifts he gave wilson that morning.

thirteen's apartment building gets shut down for like a termite infestation or smth like that, so she has to stay with house and wilson for a couple of weeks and she learns far more about those two than she ever wanted to. she witnesses their morning routine which includes a lot of sleepy bickering, shower sex, not so sleepy bickering, and then wilson inevitably leaving house behind and telling him to take the motorcycle bc he can't be late for the third day in a row, he actually has meetings and a general sense of respect for his job, unlike some people. house looks far too pleased with himself at wilson's attitude, which led her to her next discovery of just how much of their fighting is actually just foreplay. she is traumatized by the time she goes back to her place.

[sighsebstan]

but like....what happens after she opens the door for logan....like theoretically what happens (asking for a friend)

ok just for your friend ill make a pt 2 of the stream of consciousness love triangle drama fest-

when you open the door youre looking down because you dont want to look logan in the face and hes speaking to you in the softest voice he can ‘alright let me in, were talking about this’ and you step aside to let him in and he sits on one end of the couch looking at you while you close the door and take the far end of the couch with your legs scrunched up facing him which honestly is how you usually sit but its also convenient rn bc you can easily tuck your face in if you get too embarrassed again but anyway youre like ‘i know what youre gonna say-‘ but he cuts you off with a faux exasperated chuckle and it makes you look him in the eye finally and that oddly centers you ‘then will ya let me say it?’ and you dont have the ability to deny him shit especially when his eyes are staring so annoyingly softly at you and so he says ‘i think you know how i feel about you, i clearly care about you, a lot, and nothings changing that,’ hes speaking slowly and you can tell hes trying to carefully choose his words in the moment but then he takes a beat and a deep breath before he finishes his thought with ‘but wades got a point kiddo, the way i see you- the way i see us- this isnt gonna be a romantic thing’ and then ofc the tears start forming in your eyes again but this time a tear drop starts to fall down your cheek and logan gets closer so that he can put a hand on your knee while you stare up at the ceiling (and like fuck u for that logan but also you dont budge or ask him to move his hand bc <33) ‘the thing is that i know that’ you start ‘ its just that i have a ridiculous crush on you and i cant see it going away’ and it was an act of your heart betraying your brain bc your brain tells you to just accept the care and comfort that logan has always shown you platonic or not but your heart is a stupid bitch and a stubborn bitch and struggles to move on and your words hang in the air for the worlds longest minute before logan speaks up again ‘can you try? i know it might be asking a lot but ive lost enough and i really need you in my life,, youre like my own personal anchor being’ you had to snort laugh when he said that and you looked down where his hand was on your knee and youre like ‘wow that was really corny’ and he laughed with you in agreement and says ‘yeah i knew you werent gonna let that slide’ and then you shifted so that you were curled up in his side and he could have his arm around your shoulder caressing your hair which was not new to either of you and eventually he can hear your heartbeat steadily go back to a normal rhythm and he goes ‘so the wade thing’ and youre like ‘yeah the wade thing…..’ and your heart rate is right back up and he asks ‘have you ever thought of him?? like that??’ and you honestly told him ‘i didnt know it was an option i guess? it never crossed my mind he could see me like that’ and ever the wingman logan goes ‘it might be worth a shot? i mean, you know if he ever does anything to you id do whatever i can to fuckin kill him so its not like theres much to lose’ and you scoff even though you know hes being absolutely truthful and you go ‘yeah…’ and for a second you think about how great it could be with your bestie who you admittedly think is hot and you obviously love spending time with , but then again in your head your like ‘except i could lose my best friend’

[bpd-roland]

As a fan of Roland who also has bpd:

basedbasedbasedbasedbasedbasedbasedbasedba

Roland feeling empty and purposeless after Angelica's death and spiralling into a self destructive rampage to fill that emptiness and outlet those emotions is very strong in that dept. Also substances w Netz, that one stare expression he has, I could also see him genuinely liking Angela some moments and masking/switching when she reveals stuff. Agreed strongly.

I'd like to hear your thoughts on bpd Heath and Cathy if you have any too, I think Heathcliff is almost a perfect depiction of what bpd is like, at least from my experience. Erlking too is just... perfect for it imo. The duality, the self-loathing, the fixation, yknow?

Also I just see some of Cathy's dialogue and go "girl..." in the most empathetic but also headshakey way

"that one stare expression he has" as you put it makes me go insane. idk if we're thinking of the same exact one but both of the candidates in my head make me go insane so it might as well be. he's got this one i call the "no roland dont fucking do it" face bc he always pulls it out when he's getting Real in a bad way. pulling down the facade for another different facade. yknow. i hate him so much im gonna hit him with rocks (affectionate) ok theres the Roland Mention tangent

i wish i was more invested in limbus bc i dont really do analysis on the sinners let alone any other character in that game (i just listen to my buddies that do, and then parrot that conclusion around) but this checks hard. canto 6 made me go fucking insane bc i was just like dude it's just fucking roland again. listen i believe in all you non-heathcliff roland id truthers but you cannot tell me that heathcliff didnt fucking earn it instead of just like vaguely gesturing at rolandy symbolism (like faust does with angela imo). like did you see erlking. THROUGH PATCHES OF VIOLET REFERENCES GONE ANGELS ("Tell me when we shall make it end" / "I shall make it end" from the lower register side) are you guys SEEING rhis.

idr enough about cathy either to know Exactly what her deal is aside from like being angelica 2: now with more carmen so like. yeah she has Problems for sure and i hope people in the limbus fandom dont sugarcoat her too much bc it takes away basically everything about her <///////////3

[diamondchili]

despite not being very far into ooo i've seen ankh's full greeed form, and tbh i kinda hate it,, so i redesigned him!! feat. some doodles of him not clinically posed and symmetrical :p

character design is a true passion of mine, so i infodumped broke down my process below the cut!! do note i'm not approaching this as someone who would have to consider fight choreo and stunts and whatnot. just a disclaimer lol

id in alt text as always! <3

The thing i immediately hated was how human-like his face looked?? or at least his mouth. yuck. while i get wanting to set Ankh apart from the other greeeds, there's a difference between uniqueness and breaking the rules of design you've put in place for a set of characters. Uva, for instance, has a very bug-like face, whereas Mezool has almost no face thanks to the orca's mouth framing it. That means there's two major ways for a greeed's face to look, and i think where they went wrong was trying to do something entirely different for ankh.

i kindof get what they were going for by making the bird face frame Ankh's *real* face, but imo they added too much detail to both. if youre making the big face's mouth frame the actual face, don't give the actual face a mouth lol, it crowds the design too much and looks confusing. Plus, he's a suit character, he doesn't exactly need a mouth to talk from!! So for this redesign, i made both faces much more simple and gave the primary face a sortof stand-in mouth.

Next thing was the hair. why, why, WHY on EARTH does the hair on Ankh's full form not match the hair he gives the people he possesses?!?!?!? that was the first visual hint we get as to Ankh's full appearance when he changes Shingo's physical attributes upon possessing him, and when he possesses Eiji it does the same swoopy thing. so. i made my design have hair that does that. this is basic shit yall come on 😭

Then i saw the dinky lil drab half-cape they gave him and i said oh no. oh honey. this is a BIRD. you've Gotta give him more drama than that. i kept the black to break up the ocean of red in the design (and i'll admit it is still a little red-heavy up top), but since he is a bird-based character with a triad color scheme, i made the back of it have that gradient. the tatoba/traffic-light/analogous color pattern is repeated all over the suit in Ankh's canon design, and i did want to stick to that so he's still recognizable as the same character.

Speaking of sticking to canon, i actually think the chest piece and waist armor is the only thing i didn't majorly change. i simplified the color placement, but tbh that can be chocked up to the quick-and-dirty art style i did for this, i was mostly just feeling the design out. But i did include the gradients down the chest, again to break up the red. not sure if i like it if i'm 100% honest-- it doesn't quite line up the way i want. The only other thing i added here were the bird claw pauldrons, mostly to make him match Uva bc i LOVE Uva's weird bug leg pauldrons, and I love when design elements are repeated across different characters in unique ways. not sure if you can really see them under his fluffy feather cape, but oh well

I kept the thigh pieces fairly simple, omitting the green from the gradient as it's present on the loincloth-like piece just between them. For the kneepads, i repeated the flying bird motif on the iconic forearm armor, because it's such a fun element and is the first thing we see of Ankh, so i knew repeating it somewhere on the design was essential, even if it didnt match exactly. i see they did this on the canon design, but the shape was just too different to solidify it. it weirdly looks like a face? and again this isn't practical suit design-- i'm sure having kneepads in this shape would Not Work from a stunts standpoint.

Lastly, i don't have much to say about the shoepieces honestly? Aside from the fact that in Ankh's canon greeed form his bird claws more resemble owl feet. which. i guess isn't incorrect? they're still bird themed. just looks odd with the tropical bird everything else. So i just made them a bit daintier lol. kinda wish i'd kept the green painted nails tho, thats cute.

ANYWAYS if you read this far, thank you!! i love getting to analyze character design-- what works, what doesn't, all that!! so this was a lot of fun. whether you agree or disagree with my decisions, i hope you enjoyed seeing my art and reading my ramblings!! <3

[infernothechaosgod]

You know, i have always wondered why you ship Oswald more with Fanny than Ortensia. Is there some important reason behind that in ur universe?

Also whats Ortensia’s life like? Is she with someone else, does she have other kids? IS SHE DEAD?!

Haha Im really just joking, but I do find the dynamic between Oz and Fanny really cute, have a great day!!

well Id say it's overall about dynamic and journey for me, and before you'll read the rest keep in mind theres alot of my personal writing going out here and LOTS of over looking into the old shorts

like honestly one of the reasons why I prefer fanny to ortensia is because shes just much worse in universe TOT

and let me explain that, fanny is a character who last time we properly saw got herself into real danger bc instead of openly showing oswald affection after he pretended to be a life guard she made up a whole plan of pretending to be in danger so he can save her and thefore she has "a proper reason" to show him affection and that got her in trouble on her own account, that tells us some fun things about her and already makes her have some similarities to oswald

i imagine fanny to be a character thats honestly as if not a bit more flawed than oswald and thefore is more on the same ground as him, also there more symiliar in many ways that arent just them both being rabbits like I said both pretty emotional, they make up plans they really coud avoid if they would just put their pride aside and id imagine them both being quite mean lol

I feel like theres more to explore with 2 characters that are matching with their bad attitutes, short tempers and pretty high pride than with one character like that and other being just a good influence on him

so while id imagine their relationship to be more of a slowburn and to not start out good and be not as fluffy and loveish and I full on imagine it to not be completly perfect i just see it as more intresting ya know, I think giving them similiar flaws could lead to fun exploration of their own flaws as they see them in eachother and as they get better overtime slowly rather than have one be just straight good influence on other

but in my overall writing there really isnt some in universe important reason as to why oswalds with fanny rather than ortensia Per se like, he just got with one and not the other, id say In TCC he has meet her very briefly and thats the main reason, and in my overall writing if he knows her but just isnt intrested

speaking of ortensia

id just imagine her living with JP whiskers and homer sometimes helping them around and such, id say she's still single and childless maybe does some suff with that one guy she ended up in rival romeos

shes so away from action in TCC Id say shes not gonna make an apperance, but in my other writing she could appear there and there

but yeah tldr it's because of diffrent dynamics and journeys, also I prefer seeing both partners be sassy and just be a pair of haters rather than one lol

[coulson-is-an-avenger]

slides into your inbox do you have any headcanons about the room games? anything you imagine happening outside of what is shown in the games or thoughts in general (im sorry if you have a post abt this but id like to hear you ramble abt these games :D)

HEWWO FRIEND this is such a good question whlskdjf!! ty for asking!!

I actually have Not made a post about my thoughts on The Room because half of my thoughts are just. musings about The Protagonist and the story I've created about them in my head, but I don't really consider those actual thoughts on the game since it's far more of an OC at this point 😅 I have drawn them though, and I did actually make a cosplay, even though I haven't posted that one lmao but here they are:

[ID in Alt Text]

In terms of Actual Headcanons, let's see! (under the cut bc this got long)

Starting plausible/simple, I initially thought about A.S. as a former scientific partner, perhaps from the field of astronomy? His star projector sits heavy in my memory always. In other possibilities, I thought A.S. could be family. Perhaps a father, trying to get his child to follow in his research (they do mention having a bit of a tense history, but The Protagonist still came to his calls and he still dies to save them ;~;) or perhaps a brother. I think it's really poignant either way. Auuuugh I love A.S.

Also, less of a headcanon, but more of a note, I looooove how the victims of the Craftsman still seem to have some agency, even within the mockeries he forces them into. The scene where Maggy writes "HE DECIEVES YOU" on her window even though she's just an animatronic is soooooo dope. This ALSO makes me wonder if A.S. was ever actually captured by the Craftsman because I think I remember something about that before his death in TR2, so.... I wonder if some part of his soul was conscious and active in TR3 trying to help you. Maybe that's where the hints come from. Waaa idk I miss him.

Onto an Actual headcanon of mine that I Know is a long shot: so ok, Abigail Lockwood's survival of Old Sins is one of my faaaaavorite things in game, and I wish we got to see more of her. From this, I always thought it could be fun if she becomes the protagonist of the VR game to keep investigating what took her husband/almost took her.

It is a little ehh to think about Abigail going on to become to a cop lol, and also not very realistic to imagine a woman getting that job in the time period, but I was disappointed to be playing as a cop anyways, so one with lore I liked was a step up. I Also saw the theory on the wiki that Abigail is the Witch, however, The Witch is also one of The Craftman's victims, so it's unfortunate to think that she escaped The Circle and The Null only to be caught by him. It does slay to think that she was smart enough to deceive him and find someone who could save her from that imprisonment though.

I really like her either being the one to save others that The Craftsman entraps, or one who dug herself further in and was Almost caught by him, only to be saved by another woman(The Witch). I do like that consistently, the people who resist The Null and/or The Craftsman the most are the ladies (Maggy, Abigail, The Witch). Even if they don't all make it out, that's always been cool to me.

All that aside, genuinely I feel like there's a lot about these games that I don't understand lol (like girl.... what is the royal institute and how well known even is the Null, what even Is It??) but I kind of enjoy that mystery and getting to learn about it a little more every time I replay.

Like, in terms of what the Null Actually Is - you've been the one to make me ask the questions - is it sentient? What does it.... actually have to do with all those ominous tentacles? Are those manifestations of it or are they separate entities in partnership? Why is it from Mars ? Also. The Circle are worshippers of the Null? How did they find out about it without being eaten by it?? Many questions in the field that I think you have put more thought into than me. So please, by all means consider this a reverse ask if you want 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 I am looking soooooooo normalstyle

[machinedramon]

putting monhun wilds thoughts here, I'm a grumpy old vet

tl;dr: I like the game but WHY IS MY FOOD BUFF FALLING OFF IN THE MIDDLE OF COMBAT I CHALLENGE WHOEVER'S IDEA THAT WAS TO A FIGHT

first and foremost, I am enjoying the game. I'm nearly done with the high rank story, and have been enjoying myself.

however

I hate the way low rank was handled. I hate the cutscene hell. I hate the guided tours. I hate how I don't really get an opportunity to fight a wide variety of monsters between the cut scenes.

it was incredibly frustrating going from one cut scene to one fight to one cut scene to one fight to two cut scenes to one fight the entire goddamn rank. it was hard to tell how far I was actually away from hitting high rank or how far along the story I was.

plus, it was SO frustratingly handholdy. I get that this is gonna be a lot of ppl's first or second monster hunters, but there are ways to make things accessible without sticking everyone in tutorial hell.

I also have MAJOR beef with the way food buffs work. while it is neat I can have a buff for multiple hunts bc the timer only ticks down in a quest, the fact that the food buff can fall off IN THE MIDDLE OF COMBAT is the worst joke of all time. like, who thought this was a good idea? I foresee myself getting my shit rocked unexpectedly bc the food buff fell off a split second before I get laser beamed or some shit.

the food buff should only fall off out of combat. if the game is smart enough to know when to play combat music, it's smart enough to know when combat begins and ends. or, it won't fall off when you're in a quest. it'll just sit at 0:00 until the quest finishes or you cart. it's not that hard. it is HOT fucking garbage.

almost all of the NPCs are hella unlikable. the only one I remotely like is Olivia, and only bc she's a respectful badass who can both hold her own and know when to step back. Fabius is also great. Everyone else can get dumped in a river, though.

to that end, I know ppl like Alma and Gemma but their designs bug the hell out of me bc they just feel too damn modern for monster hunter. like I begrudgingly accept Alma isn't so bad just bc of exposure and that she's not a damn nuisance like the handler in world, but her style is so MODERN that it kind of kills it for me.

the game's menu system is incredibly frustrating and unintuitive as well. having to go into "member list" in order to get to where u can put your friends' IDs into the search to find them to add them is so bonkers to me, and it just winds up being annoying. the placement of things is bizarre and the naming scheme is esoteric.

sure, you can add things to your favorites, but that's only if you even realize that you can edit the tabs at all. it also doesn't make any sense to me why you'd even use the "recently updated" or "recently viewed" tabs at all. They're just extra clutter and in the way.

all that said though, it's really nice that they have Gemma come to all of the base camps so you always have access to the smithy no matter what zone you're in. I also like the trading mechanic, which gives value to gathering non-crafting goods aside from guild points.

the supply ship having built weapons for sale is really nice, especially as something to spend guild points on, since those tend to rack up and be hard to spend.

jin dahaad is probably my favorite new monster, dude is fucking massive and really fucking cool (lmao). also my sweet baby boy gore magala got such an upgrade in his fight since 4U, it's nice to see him put up an actual fight. makes me very excited for the eventual shagaru magala fight.

horn is very satisfying to play in this gen, although I can feel myself lagging behind in terms of speed. I may wind up revisiting glaive again just bc im starting to struggle to keep up with the higher octane fights. it's always been my weakness once things start getting difficult. I like mobility too much, and horn is not mobile.

[poppitron360]

tbh i find you annoying but thats just my opinion. you're allowed to do whatever the fuck you want. good for you. my own opinion - based on petty standards and prejudice and a bit of jealousy - is not a reflection of reality and should not affect you. keep having fun.

also please don't block me because you're posting about something i like and it's not very well known and i just needed to get this out because id explode

… Okay?

This ask is fascinating to me and I have SO MANY QUESTIONS. Imma disect your comment like a lil bug real quick, if that’s okay with you?

If it doesn’t affect me why did you tell me? Like what was the purpose of telling me that you find me annoying? What validation does that give you?

Like you took all that time and effort to 1) seek out my blog 2) read enough of my posts to come up with a REALLY REALLY GOOD BURN LIKE WOW THAT IS SO CLEVER 3) Click on the ask button 4) write this comment 5) CHANGE THE FREAKING FONT- Like you went through the whole process of highlighting that line of text, clicking the “minimise” AND the “strikethrough” buttons and THEN 6) pressing send and you didn’t stop to think ONCE “hey… why the hell am I doing this?”

It always baffles me when people tell me these things like they think I’m not already painfully aware of it. Like I know that I’m annoying to some people THAT’S WHY I’M HERE!!! I have found the one community of people that find what I’m saying interesting!

I’m not posting for YOU I’m posting for THEM. You think I give a shit what you think about me? Are you THAT self-centred? Maybe my posts aren’t tailored to you, and that’s fine! Not everyone is making content specifically for your consumption, and might just be marketing to a different audience. If you’re not pickin’ up what I’m puttin’ down, that’s okay. Maybe I’m just not putting it down for your specific needs.

You know, before I joined Tumblr, a comment like this would have sent me SPIRALLING. But now I’ve realised that there is actually a place and a people to whom I am entertaining. I just gotta find the right audience.

One of my favourite inspirational quotes ever is by Einstein and it’s that “everyone is a genius, but if you judge a fish by it’s ability to climb a tree, it would think itself an idiot” or words to that effect. Yeah- my talent for spinning Leo Valdez round my brain like a candy-floss machine until it eventually turns into content isn’t necessarily “fun at parties” or useful for getting a job or good for… y’know… anything applicable to the Real World™️ but here I’ve found where I CAN put it to good use! And a year ago I didn’t have that.

Before Tumblr, my lil fishy body was struggling ‘er way up that tree. Here, I’ve found my ocean!

Not sure where this metaphor is going in relation to the topic of you finding me annoying… I guess fish me doesn’t feel like such an “idiot” now that I’ve found where I belong? Like I know that my talents are niche but SOMEONE likes ‘em. Actually quite a lot of people like ‘em, judging by my follower count. And I didn’t get this far by just having a cute cat pic as my pfp, but by actually building my skill and working hard! And I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished. SO FUCK YOU!!! HUZZAH!!!

I’m aware of how much of an asshole I sound like, but honestly? I am proud of myself. And my girl deserves her moment.

I feel a little bad responding guns-ablaze bc your hate comment was legitimately kinda nice and considerate?

But Also- how weird is this as a hate comment? Like you’re being insulting but you’re also saying you like my stuff? Geez, it says a lot about you that you can’t even send anon hate correctly.

If you wanna keep reading my stuff, go ahead! You just either gotta power through whatever weird complex you have about me, or just don’t read it. I don’t really see what good sending me this ask will do. Whatever gripe you have, put it aside. Like how I put aside your lack of capital letters in that comment, knowing that my stupid obsessive thing with Grammar shouldn’t affect how I treat other people, and that that is my OWN problem to deal with.

I’m being silly here. I’ve just never had the confidence to roast my haters before. I’ve never had haters to roast (online, anyway) so forgive my overzealousness. If you couldn’t tell- I was a theatre kid and still am…

In all seriousness, I like how self-aware you are that you’re being prejudiced and jealous. And I’m kinda curious as to what specifically you’re jealous of? But that’s just to boost my own ego.

I’m aware that I can be a little intimidating sometimes, particularly in a written form of socialisation. I like grammar, okay? I like rules and guidelines and careful, creative choices to show emotion and how you can break the rules in certain ways to give depth and nuance to the character and find the pattern of letters and characters to communicate what you’re feeling over a written format and-

If you couldn’t tell by all the fanfics I write- I also have a passion for writing.

Also, what specific prejudices? I’m genuinely intrigued. Is it specifically based off of one of the protective characteristics (under the 2011 Equality Act)? Or is it more just the way I behave? Or is it something I said? Like don’t be shy I don’t want vague I want DETAILS!!

And I realise that me writing a whole freaking dissertation on your comment just PROVES your point that I’m annoying but I. Don’t. Care. I’m having fun. I can’t help that I have a lot of Thoughts And Feelings about things. It’s just how my brain works. Also, it is currently 1:23am where I live, so brain go brrr. If you made it this far, anon, I salute you! Thank you for taking the time to hear me out even though you think I’m annoying. That’s honestly a good quality to have. Here, have a sweet 🍬

And I know that that was… intense, to say the least. Oh BOY do I know that I can be intense. But genuinely- GENUINELY- I’d love to sit down and have a discussion with you on this because it truly fascinates me how other people perceive me. And, if you’re comfortable coming out of anon (if not, that’s fine) I’d like to learn more about why you think these things. Not necessarily so that I can change- but it’d be a great opportunity to see what I can learn about myself through what you think at me. I know it seems like I’m mad- I’m really not! I’m just captivated by the world and how others look at me.

Anyway, thanks for hearing me out, and I hope to have good conversations with legitimate constructive criticism in many posts to come! Never stop being passionate. Just maybe direct your passion to something more positive. Thank you so much for the ask, this was a really good thought experiment for me.

[kisara-kaiba]

OKAY THE KINKY BLUES HAS ME INTRIGUED PLEAAASE HEAR ME OUT ON SUGGESTIONS/BRAINSTORMING/HOPES/DREAMS. alright so it cant be in Temptation, the kink requires its own pocket dimension, first of all. as the biggest fanboygirl of their cycle of dominance and submission im gonna start off with that. a really fun and naturally flowing dom-sub dynamic for them is born in ancient egypt. if set put her aside as his property and tried to experiment with her ka with slowly increasing pressure whilr kisara was like "this kind man who saved me twice feeds me and shelters me who cares if hes tying me down and writing spells on my skin lol" it goes apeshit from there. TWO-this can be from many modern aus with little work, basically an in love blueship that seemlessly slipped into a dom-sub dynamic consciously switching it up a lil. whether that has seto giving orders while tied up on his knees or kisara begging to tie him up would be..that would go BRRRR. THREE. biting kink. straight up. no notes. id be fine with a 400 word introspective of either of one of them watching the bite marks they left on the other and their feelings about it. id settle. itd be enough.

how we feeling. any of thesr sound desirable. wanna brainstorm more. ill come knocking at your door like an unhinged mormon. anyway wanna tell you regardless, absolutely no pressure what you may or may not end up writing i just wanted to yell at someone about kinky blues, have a great day

S C R E E C H I NG this is why ily blueshipping king you just get my vision <333 that ancient Egypt idea has got me going f e r a l just thinking about it and i’ve thought for so long that i should write some mizushipping at some point anyway so yesssss. also biting is uh. yes please.

anyway okay now you got me started so strap in because this is gonna be a long ramble. so i feel like there’s several points about how i imagine their dynamic that i have to unpack here (putting it under a cut bc length or if ppl are uncomfy with this stuff)

↓↓↓

i am unfortunately boring in the way that i’ll ultimately always wanna write Seto as the dominant one just bc of my own personal preferences. BUT that obv doesn’t mean Kisa wouldn’t have a fair amount of control over the situation, both bc a healthy dom/sub dynamic requires it in terms of consent and boundaries ofc, but also bc a) Seto is so extreme in his need for Kisara’s explicit permission to do basically anything to her (even the vanilla stuff) because he’s so painfully precious about her well-being and also constantly plagued by not feeling worthy of her and b) while i think Kisa wants to be dominated i think she also realllly enjoys the control of knowing she’s got Seto wrapped around her little finger and could make him do any depraved thing she wants to her just by looking at him in the right way. so yeah i think they both know who’s really in control behind the scenes lol

i’m also DYING to get into Seto’s inevitable mental struggle to reconcile his thoughts and feelings of “she is a perfect goddess and i’m a mere mortal unworthy of even looking at her let alone touch her” and “i’d die to protect her and if anyone hurts her i’ll fucking kill them” vs his desire to be the one who gets to take this perfect goddess and make her submit to him, kneel before him, own and control and ruin her perfectly (because if there’s one thing we all know about Seto Kaiba is that he’ll make sure the divine yields to him, and not the other way around). I guess the key things there is that he alone is allowed to hurt her and no one else.

On this note i do however think Seto would be so conflicted about physically hurting Kisa, even if she very clearly and explicitly wants him to, because he just struggles with being so overprotective of her and not wanting to see her injured or in pain. but this would also be delicious to write him being all conflicted due to the guilt of causing her pain vs the fact that doing so is super fucking hot and he can’t resist doing it, esp not when she’s literally begging him to. Taking all of his frustrations after a long day out on her more than willing body would be so cathartic and tempting but also associated with so much guilt and worry about getting too into it and going too far.

I also definitely see Kisa as being the more extreme of them, to the point where i can actually see her be just a little bit unhealthily masochistic because she doesn’t really value herself due to past trauma, giving her a self-destructive streak and kinda fucked-up notions along the lines of ultimately being deserving of pain and suffering, that someone hurting her equals caring about her and wanting her, and that the ultimate thing she can do to show someone that she really loves and trusts them is to just offer herself up completely to use and do whatever they want to, which Seto would have to try to handle and mitigate because he’s ultimately not gonna let her use him to actually really hurt herself (and you know it would also break his heart a thousand times over to realise just how little she values and cares about herself due to her fucked up past). But I could also write it kinda funny in that whole “sub suggesting increasingly violent/fucked up things while the dom goes ‘idk that’s scary’” lmao. I think Kisa is a bit annoyed that people (especially Seto) tend to see her as this fragile, porcelain flower and wants to prove that she is perfectly capable of taking a (consensual) beating.

Outside of strictly sexual stuff i can also see Kisa as very much an ‘everyday/domestic acts of service’ kinda sub who just wants to bring Seto his coffee when he’s working and a drink when he comes home from work and make sure to always wash and iron his clothes and put them out before he leaves in the morning, tying his tie before he leaves and untying it when he gets home and cooking and serving his meals for him (which tbh wouldn’t just be about her being submissive but also bc she just wants to make sure he actually takes care of himself with like, eating and taking coffee breaks bc you know that man doesn’t take care of himself if left unchecked). And I think this also ties in with her sense of self-worth being tied to being useful and helping others because she doesn’t really see herself as valuable unto herself, but also maybe acts of service is just kinda her “love language” too. i feel like this is the sort of thing i could maybe include in Temptation bc she’s already pretty much like this there, with to me pretty obvious undertones that her working as Seto’s assistant is definitely triggering a submissive side in her.

Temptation also has the whole thing with Seto secretly enjoying Kisa wearing her KaibaCorp pin while working because it marks her as his for the world to see, and I definitely feel like that’d be a thing for him too. Branding her, either by things like visible bite marks/hickeys that she’s not allowed to cover up or something like a discreet necklace that is actually a collar (although tbf, with the fashion we see in the Yugioh universe, would anyone even blink at a BDSM-style collar? Like Yugi’s already wearing fetish gear as his everyday clothes lmao). I mean, Seto’s already pretty big on putting his branding on literally everything, so Kisa would be no exception (also imagine the ridiculous extravagance and amount of money and care Seto would put into a collar for Kisa).

While I’m not really into the idea of Seto being submissive per se, I do think both he and Kisa could easily have praise kinks because they both crave validation in their own ways and for someone to telling them that they’re doing/being good (Seto wouldn’t admit that though, but if I allow for some submissiveness on his part I think being called a good boy could fix him). But with him as the dom it also totally tracks for him to make Kisa worship him and stroke his ego in that way. On that theme, however, I could also imagine him making her allow him to worship her as a kind of ‘punishment’ bc he knows she has a hard time accepting that but that it’s also something that’s good for her to hear.

Also I can totally see Kisa being a little bratty as a sub sometimes because she likes to talk back to Seto and be deliberately cheeky, disrespectful and provocative (both because she enjoys the control of getting him riled up and because she knows that the more she gets him worked up the more forceful and intense he’ll be about putting her back into place afterwards).

Okay so this turned into a fic-chapter length essay about this topic instead of actually writing the fic (bc *ofc* i’d do that) but please lmk what you think!!! (and hopefully i'll use your ideas + my rambling and turn in into fic eventually)

[shamebats]

Reddit thread on topping as a gay trans guy.

Full text [NSFW] below:

It’s a great time to be a trans top

Edited to add recommendations at the end of the post!

I'm a trans dude, and 100% top, older than most of you guys, and my experience as a top in the gay male community spans 10+ years. I used to encounter a lot of idiots in Grindr who'd ask me stupid shit like "errrrr how can u be a top?" And id have to school them on the fact that YES, not only do I have a dick- I have multiple ones aside from the one hormones blessed me with. This was largely due to lack of awareness and education, which has really changed. There's still many tops that seek out trans men, but now there's a lot of bottoms that seek us out as well, and I haven't encountered that question in a long time.

I've been told by a lot of men that they prefer trans tops or switches because:

1. A prosthetic dick doesn't go soft no matter how many times we cum. Cis dick is famously finicky, but with me they don't have to worry boner killing 2. Sex with trans tops is a lot less dick-centric, meaning there's way more freaky stuff we do rather than the formulaic 5min in and out 3. Different size and shape dicks! I've had a lot of cis and trans partners that felt they could finally try anal with me bc we could start small. The size queens can get what they want too.. nobody is stuck with something that doesn't work for them. 4. Much much less risk than bottoming for cis men 5. For my trans male partners, not having to worry about birth control and chronic UTIs. 6. I've also been told by more than one guy they feel more free to explore kink and other stuff bc the trans men they've been with are generally more open-minded and less judgmental

Ill spare you guys the details here lol but there's many other things. Esp compared to last year when there was much less trans awareness in general, my DMs are popping with dudes who are bottoms or curious about bottoming and feel like their first time will be much more enjoyable and safer with a trans top. Lastly, as far as getting off - I do every time, and to be totally honest I've been so happy w my sex life the way it is, that I'm not very motivated to re-visit or explore bottoming again (and all the stuff that it comes with).

In the past I was always frustrated by how dicks are designed to be totally flat in the back with no room for my own boner! Thankfully sex toy companies are catching up and taking into account the difference between a trans male and a cis woman's anatomy. My favorite are grinders/cushions. Since these are attachments you can put on the base of most dicks, it's a great way to explore what works for you without breaking the bank and buying a whole new dick, not to mention my partners can keep getting railed by their favorite dick. The trick with the cushions is to practice by yourself, they have nice suction so u can use them as jack off sleeves and train your dick to cum in them. Some of them even vibrate. Links added at the end.

Dysphoria is a sneaky b💀tch yall, and it's always gonna be filling our heads with fears that will prevent us from so many amazing gender affirming experiences. Being a good top whether you're cis or trans takes practice, emotional intelligence, empathy, and confidence. Some of those things we as trans men have by design bc of our life experience. A cis dick doesn't mean you have those things. Anybody can have a dick, but as many of yall know, very few dudes know how to use it.

****** LINKS********* The following are sold on at rodeoh, but they're made by different people so if rodeoh is not your thing u can buy them elsewhere. The first one feels particularly amazing- there's ribbing inside with suction. And yes, they will soon have a bootyhole shaped one if they don't already.

Since I started T vibrators stopped working be of they're too small and localized but this thing vibrates your hole dick and feels really good to the receiver as well. The part where the vibe goes is dick size so it doubles as a jack off sleeve.

Here's one of my all time fave dicks (loved by everyone who I've topped) it's posable which it's great for prostate and G spot stimulation, and most importantly you can pack with it! I have the 7" version. I've def had some adventures at the leatherdaddy bar with this guy... 👀. I like it more than my $300 peecock and it's a third of the price:

Feel free to DM me, I'm an open book.